please dont reply to this one i just need to vent ive been a fool.
a complete and total fool its taken me years to realise it but it came crashing to me like the load of all stupidity this weekend was the pinicle the apex the ultimate rude awakening.
for years i thought people were too bussy or just silly however now i truly realise just how selfish everyone else in my life is from lovers and potential lovers not even returning phone calls to opting for thier friends and fammilys wishes over spending small quantitys of time with me to my fammilys lack of concideration in my conviniences and availability, my being taken for granted my bearing the brunt of spurn on my conciderable patience.
i am defeated usurped and abolished. i am a convinience to others i dont come first nor second nor even third in concideration i come in fith and not from lack of effort.
i dont know why my happyness is not even of concern. i wount go into much detail but i have gone as farr as killing three hours waiting only to be spurned to dropping in and getting ignored in liew of friends company.
two personages of notable worth tome cant even be bothered to call me back when i try to sett up things.
why am i so trivial? im good looking and get compared to orlando bloom on numerous ocassion. why when im intelligent and generous and patient am i repayed with general lack of concern for my feelings time and patience? im smooth well spoken and savy how have i failed? i know not but im through being a facillitator and sex toy. im through being convinient. im spent.i wount give more examples but this has been weekly for years now. im hurt and angry and i cant help but think i must alter myself to prevent this train from continuance.
....fuck....piss shitt fuck....fuck ass shitt fuck cock brown.... ok im better now....